Forgetfullness...

Salam..

I certainly has been dormant from blogging for a quite some time.. I guess I don't really have anything interesting to write on.. My dear husband has made the entry about our vacation in Barcelona.. I did enjoy it very much.. I wish for more of the great holidays to come..

Nothing much has happened since.. We both has been quite busy with work since.. It has been tough for me.. It's a busy job & lots of expectations comes with it.. It is challenging, both physically & mentally.. Work starts at 8 every morning & continues to 6 or 7 pm in the evening.. If I'm lucky,I'll get some break for lunch.. or tea sometimes.. most of the time, I took a break just for prayers.. Even when we were postcall,it was just the same story.. and there will always be an assignment for us for the night.. recent journal or guidelines to be read.. sometimes,i do feel really exhausted.. not to mention yet,on calls & house chores.. this week,I've been taking turns with my dear husband doing calls.. Tues,he was oncall.. Wed,he was postcall & I was oncall.. thurs,I was postcall.. friday,he was oncall again.. and today, I'm all alone again.. next wed,we'll both be oncall! despite being busy & having a hectic life, I do feel empty.. drained.. I'm not really enjoying what I'm doing.. sometimes,I do enjoy it but most of the time,I just feel empty... and I can't denied asking myself,is this what I really want to do for the rest of my life??

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Last night I had the weirdest dream.. I dreamt about my daughter.. She came back to meet me.. She was beautiful & she was talking to me.. I remembered asking her does she remembered me,and she does remember me.. but she doesn't remember ayah.. I was crying in front of her & for some reasons,I kept apologising to her.. I suddenly woke up & found myself weeping.. I didn't wake my husband & I didn't even tell him about the dream.. I do miss my babies..

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"On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray: ) “Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Lay not on us a burden Like that which Thou didst lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; Help us against those who stand against faith.”

Tafsir Al-Baqarah (verse 286)

Last night,a close friend reminded us about this verse from the Holy Quran.. How easy we feel stressed.. hopeless.. But we often forgot that Allah won't chose us unless He knows that we're able for it.. even we ourselves are unaware of our true capabilities.. We often reacted the wrong way for each time we're tested either through our behaviours, our thoughts or our emotions.. but the great thing is that as long as we're still breathing,we're always given the chance to seek forgiveness from Allah.. He,to whom we seek guidance & strength throughout the journey of our life..

O Allah,please forgive me of the times that I'd lost hope & forgot.. Please forgive me of my wrongdoings.. And please guide me for each step that I take..

To our friend,thank you for the reminder..