Another year ending..

Salam..

Looks like my blog is very dusty now.. ok, where's my vacuum cleaner.. let's clear all the dust away;p

Much has happened since my last entry.. my parents & not-so-baby brother were here for 3 weeks (although it felt like just a week!).. we went to Spain for a week & we had a blast there! lots of stories to tell but am not in the mood of story-mory right now:) let us leave that for another time.. ;)

I don't really have anything particular to write about.. just wanted to have a post for the last day of 2010.. another year is indeed ending.. I'm not particularly crazy about celebrating new year.. but I do have resolutions for the new year.. I think I will just keep them to myself.. ;) I hope whatever our new year resolutions are, the ultimate goal is fauzul a'dzim..

Allah has promised to the believers -men and women, - Gardens under which rivers flow to dwell therein forever, and beautiful mansions in Gardens of 'Adn (Eden Paradise). But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allâh. That is the supreme success.

Have a good year ahead, biiznillah!

Off work..

Salam..

The past few months have been particularly hectic for us.. I was working again for about 3 months, from 2nd week of July up till last week.. to be honest I did enjoy working again (although the were times I was stressed out at work & wished that I wasn't working but overall I did enjoy coming back to work;p)..

One of the reasons that I thought made my working days much enjoyable & bearable was the crazy super cool team! yes,we were crazy! I really love the team.. from my SpR to the interns (and of course my already well-known nice consultant!:)), we were having so much fun together! my SpR is super nice & easy-going (& 'mad'.. hehe.. sorry Jude!);p.. the other SHOs are all great craic - Barry, Andrew, Anne & Geraldine.. the interns (Peter & Brid) are super hardworking & crazy too! together, we did went nuts;p haha.. It just made the days easier & way less stressful with great colleagues! the last week I was working was the week of the NCHDs changing teams.. so we bade goodbye to Barry, Peter & Brid (actually Brid was already off sick since a few weeks earlier).. & welcomed the new members of the team - Marie, Ciara & Aoibhinn (they are super cool too!).. it was great working with them & I do miss all of them.. to be honest, I was sad leaving the team.. I thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to work with such a great team!

In the 3 months of working, I just had a week holiday together with my dear husband.. and in most weeks, we rarely did spend much time together.. there were weeks that I got to speak to him just in the car on my way going to or coming back from work (that was just a 5-minute journey!).. so I'm really looking forward for our next holiday together..

Maldives.. keep on dreaming of going there for a holiday..;)

Our next destination definitely doesn't have any beach but I don't mind really.. my idea of a holiday is just to find a place to relax & away from the usual everyday routines.. Ideally no TV, no internet, no video games;p hehe.. and lots of time for us to just chat away.. ;)

InsyaAllah will update again later..

Atrás a trabajar..

Salam..

It has been quite some time since my last entry here.. and the main reason for it is that I'm now back to work..

It was definitely unplanned.. initially, I chose to be out of work as my dear hubby is working in the ED & I knew that his shifts are changing every week.. and it would be very inconvenient for us.. and I was proved right! last week I was working from 8am to 5/6pm and he was doing the 4pm-12am shift.. and this week he is doing 6pm-2am shift.. so we barely had the chance to speak to each other.. and for the past week, I had been breaking fast all by myself except for a few nights that I went out & the night that a few friends came over.. we are 'lucky' as for now as it is just the two of us.. I can't imagine the time when we will have children of our own.. I really don't think that this is sustainable..

I have been seriously thinking about non acute medicine.. although I love acute medicine, I don't think that I can survive a few more years to come before we can achieve the position that will allow us to have reasonable working hours.. A few days ago, we were discussing about this matter in our team.. about how many doctors chose the field that would give them the chance to have life outside the hospitals.. one of my colleagues was saying, the top achievers in his class are all taking radiology as they chose to have a good working hours.. and he himself is planning to pursuit haematology.. I do agree.. internal medicine are far too busy.. especially being a registrar.. during oncall, basically the registrar is taking care nearly all of the patients in the hospital - he/she needs to review all the new admissions, the sickies in the wards, the HDU patients and the surgical patients that need medical review.. it is a very demanding job.. I am not surprised that foreigner doctors are filling up the general internal medicine specialist registrar schemes as many of the locals chose not to do internal medicine..

And as for me, I haven't decided yet.. still doing lots of thinking.. many factors need considering.. and along the way, I continously seek the guidance from Allah... for He definitely knows whats best for me.. Although I have planned to be off work during this Ramadhan, He has better plan for me.. coming back to work this time makes me realised that I actually enjoy & miss working.. especially with great colleagues! I will definitely miss this team.. from my lovely SpR, 'crazy' fellow SHOs & superb interns, we are the A team! (or at least that is what we thought;p).. we are having great time together.. and I thank Allah for giving me the chance to enjoy my work.. and I hope I can stay happy & keep enjoying my work in many more years to come.. ameen..

I wish you happy celebrating the remainder of this Ramadhan..

Unsustainable..

Salam..

Not so long a day ago, I had vented about the stretch me and my fellow colleagues in ED are facing to keep the department, at the very least, crawling, if not walking.. I can say with very confident that I enjoy working in Emergency Medicine, and that is a fact.. But right now, because of shortage of personnel in the job, it feels like I am being sucked into the vortex of 'Job comes first, Life only then'.. It's like in the army!

Rota

The new rota has been proven rather 'inhumane' for us.. Tough, to say the least.. At the present, we are doing 12-2-14-break schedule.. That's twelve days straight (5x 9-hour shifts, then 2x 12-hour shifts, and then 5x 8-hour shifts) starting on Monday morning, finishing midnight on Saturday the week after.. Even that seems breathtaking to explain!

And after that is the long-awaited, highly-anticipated weekend off.. That's the '2' part..

And then, the nightmare stretch begins..

Five days of 6pm-2am shift Monday to Friday,
then 2pm-2am Saturday and Sunday,
then midnight-8am Monday to Friday,
then 8pm-8am Saturday and Sunday..

And all that is really hard to swallow..

After all that

After all that, then we get the deserved break for a week (after a week of nights, which is standard) but also have the opportunity to pull an annual leave entitled to us for another week.. Which in total gives us just under two weeks of leave.. Now, doesn't that sound lavish?

Of course, it does.. And I like the breaks! But, is it humanely possible for a doctor to work 26 out of 28 days, albeit shift work.. Sure, you wouldn't let a pilot fly an airplane for more than twelve hours, you don't see a truck driver on their ninth hour on their shift!

Venting.. Is that all there is?

Not really.. There is also the legality of it.. The European Working Time Directives (EWTD) has documented that doctors are to only be allowed to work at a maximum of 48 hours per week.. I'm sure by now you have your calculators out and start adding up the hours than you and I are clocking every week..

As for me :
Week 1 - 69 hours
Week 2 - 40 hours
Week 3 - 64 hours
Week 4 - 64 hours

Ooh.. That is easy way off the scale for legality, isn't it?

Well, hopefully the people of Ireland will understand this situation and will start talking and writing to local and national politicians, newspapers, TV stations and make the policy-makers understand what they are doing putting the populations life in the hands of overworked medical professionals..


Hopefully, in the next near future, Miss Harney will change something and make the system better, before it all collapses and lives are sacrificed..

Salam..

Tough.. And It Will Only Get Tougher..

Salam..

Just under a week (I guess) from my last entry, and here I am now again facing the blog page, scribbling nonsense.. Maybe, it is just another way of me venting..

Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah, we have now entered the holy month on Ramadhan.. Myself and Ina have now completed two days of fasting, and to be perfectly honest, it is quite different from the ones we had encountered before..

As we all are aware, the Hijri calendar is shorter than the Gregorian calendar, which essentially makes the Hijri months going 'backwards' in relation to the Gregorian.. And as we have anticipated and, in a way, 'feared', Ramadhan now is getting closer and closer to the summer times - at the season where the days are long and the nights are short.. Even for this Ramadhan, at least at the very beginning, fajr is around 4 o'clock and maghrib is around 9 o'clock in the evening.. That makes it easy 17 hours of fasting daily.. Put going to work in between that, and some other work-related issues, subhanallah, it is hard and challenging..

Day-1 of fasting is usually the hardest of them all where our body and mind are trying to adjust to the change.. Ina was oncall up till 10 o'clock last night.. She managed to finish by 9.30 pm.. Kak Riza and Ustaz Wan invited us to break our fast at their place, and so we did.. I picked Ina up and brought her there.. Thank you, to both of them..

Still another 28 days to go, insya-Allah..

Work

Work being work, it is tough and will only get worse, at the rate things are going.. Specifically, we are short of SHOs in the Emergency Department (ED).. At present we only have 5 out of possible 8.. Furthermore, we are short by one registrar..

And work in the department is not getting lighter, with the closure of some services in the satellite hospitals - Ennis, Nenagh and St. John's hospitals..

Fair play to the bosses who have worked, and still working, tirelessly to try to fill the quorum.. At the moment, we are doing 12-day shift, 2-day break, 14-day shift and then post-nights break.. With these numbers, the job is becoming less and less appealing for other people to apply.. *sigh*

A good news just before I left work today, insya-Allah we will be getting two new colleagues in the next two weeks.. So, hopefully this will help alleviate some of the burden we are experiencing..

There is 'I like the job' and there is 'I'm just too tired to cope with this job, no longer physically feasible for me'..

Well, so much for venting.. Maybe some more some other time.. Hopefully, I will be blogging about something more educational and meaningful the next time..

Salam..

No-Pilot Mode

Salam..

Alhamdulillah, I managed to squeeze some time to jot a word or two in this page.. To be honest, much has happened in the last few months that blogging was way down on priority list.. As a matter of fact, despite many of you had thought Ina was at home all along, it is not solely true.. She is back to work! So, you can only imagine what our schedule is like.. And what our house looks like!

June
June was quite a busy time for me.. I had loads of academic stuff going on and it took a lot of my time.. So, I will not bother you readers with my so-called educational strive..

One good thing that happened was my mom's birthday.. In all fairness, it was all Ina's brilliant idea.. We (and by 'we' I mean Ina) actually booked a surprise birthday present for mom.. It was a home delivery of a bouquet if flowers and a mocha cake.. But, I think Ina will disagree, and probably a bit disappointed, that they delivered the wrong flower and the wrong cake..

Mom with her birthday present - sent with love from Ireland

Believe me, the hard part was to make certain mom was at home at the time of delivery, without making her suspicious of the surprise plan..

June was also the month I bid farewell to Milford Care Centre.. Having worked there for a total of nine months, I suppose I will miss that place.. Despite not all people like to be working there, I enjoyed every bit of my time there.. I was sad to leave the service and move on to something almost totally opposite.. It felt like a farewell that I might not return to the place.. The first six months I was there, I knew I would be coming back later in 2010, bot not this time.. I got a cap from Dr Conroy and a book voucher from Dr Stodart as gifts.. I thank both of them whole-heartedly..

July
It was a new beginning for me.. I had decided that I want to do Emergency Medicine as a career pathway.. And so I did, having secured the job in Limerick before July came.. Unfortunately, instead of 8 SHOs, there are only six of us.. And we are short by one Registrar.. It only meant that the workload is greater and it will only get worse.. Nationally, there are 270 NCHD posts not filled on 1st of July, and the number is still increasing with people who have a job now opting to resign and flee the country.. It also means that training is getting more scarce as we speak..

Ina was also called to do a locum job given one Geriatric SHO had resigned and did not arrive on scene in Limerick on 1st of July.. Ina is doing a 3-month post as of now.. She will be back at home in October, insya-Allah..

August
It is only a few days in August and it feels like it is flying too quickly for my liking..

Erin celebrated her birthday back in Malaysia - unfortunately, being on-call on the day itself.. Zuhaili has now settled in UiTM in Medical Imaging, which is technically Radiography.. I haven't spoken with Intan for a while but last I checked she was managing okay.. Zaqwan is still in school at seems to do well..

As for me, life goes on with Ina here.. Where to next? I don't know yet.. Hoping to get an Anaesthetic SHO job in January as part of my own EM scheme.. Maybe look and assess my chances getting on to the Registrar Training Scheme for EM (SpR).. Otherwise, hmm.. Australia, maybe? I don't know.. I'm keeping my options open for now..

Well, Ramadhan is coming and before we know it, it will be Eid.. Alhamdulillah, I will be on leave on the week of Eid and the week after.. Unfortunately, because of shortage of SHOs, I am only now allowed to take one week off as annual leave after the night's week off.. It also means that traveling home to Malaysia will be difficult.. *Sigh*

Salam..

In desperation & hope..

Salam...

We were shocked by the news early yesterday morning.. the flotilla carrying aids to Gaza was attacked by the Israeli commandos.. and a number of aid workers were killed with a number of others were injured..When I first heard about the news, I held the tears at the back of my eyes.. these are people who are sending humanitarian aid.. they were in international water.. and the Palestinians are already waiting with hopes at the Gaza's bay..

Ya Allah.. it was too much for me to imagine.. it was too painful.. I felt helpless..

I've been following the news since yesterday morning & I hope so are you.. and keep the prayers going please.. the Israeli is trying to make it as if it was the mistake of these humanitarian workers.. take note of these & make your family, friends & colleagues understand:

1. Israeli were saying it was their right of self defense.. they said it was a threat to them so they have the right to block the aids..
what about the Palestinians? they were denied the rights to live.. they couldn't even have cement to rebuild their houses.. most everything going into Palestine need to go through Israel.. (some go through Rafah).. they're controlling the quantity of things that can go through which clearly are way less than what are needed in Palestine.. what right does Israel has to be the 'custom checkpoint'?? what self defense are they talking about? these are not warships.. these are humanitarian aid..

2. Israeli said they have been offering to channel the aids through their land..
these ships are carrying things including those that are needed by Palestinians but are banned by Israeli.. they carried medical & reconstruction supplies, children toys.. do you think by surrendering to Israeli, they will keep their promises?? what would make them allow these banned items to go through this time when they have been banning them, like since forever??

3. Israeli suspects the ships are carrying weapons to be smuggled..
I watched the news yesterday.. the reporters have been interviewing a few protesters in UK including those that have been sending humanitarian aid before.. these are people who have experiences working with Palestinians & have been dealing with Israeli.. they are peace activist & humanitarian workers that has been working together despite of different religions.. they have worked beyond the restrictions of political issues.. and one of them said she knew these humanitarian workers in the ship.. they are her friends.. she knew the nature of Israeli,that they would shoot & kill anyone without needed to be provoked.. she told the reporter that each time they are sending out the ships, each ship has to go a thorough check according to the international laws.. there is no way that they can even have a firearm in the ship..

4. the commandos were being attacked first..
why did the commandos intrude the vessel in the first place? the vessel was in international water.. they have no right at all to 'touch' the flotilla.. they weren't being shot at from the flotilla.. they were the ones who intruded the flotilla.. and these humanitarian workers on the ship had said that they would send these aids by hook or by crook.. of course they wanted to protect what they're carrying even with their lives.. of course they were defensive & volatile when the commandos started arriving one by one onto the vessel.. they have no weapons other than what they have in the flotilla - metal bars, knives & whatever they could put their hands on.. if they have firearms as accused the Israeli, they probably would have shoot even before the commandos landed on the flotilla! amazingly no Israeli was shot dead.. commandos with full tactics & strategies have shot dead a number of humanitarian workers that have no firearms on them.. what a way to show that they are commandos!

As we already know, the Zionists have been successful in spreading propaganda before.. they are manipulative & I suspect they would be as manipulative as before in this matter.. so be proactive.. we need to make as many people understand the true situation.. we need to start fighting the idea that they're trying hard to put into the minds of people (that they are not entirely guilty in this matter).. use whatever media you can.. the plain basic truth is that they have attacked a humanitarian aid in international water & have killed aid workers who were trying to protect themselves & the belongings of Palestinians..

And on top of that, keep praying to Allah.. for He has the power over all the things..

'Do they not see that Allah , who created the heavens and earth and did not fail in their creation, is able to give life to the dead? Yes. Indeed, He is over all things competent.'
(meaning from al ahqaf,ayat 33)

In desperation & hope, I turned to Allah..

3 years...

Salam...

It was our third anniversary yesterday..

It has been 3 years since the day we shared our life.. the day he became my very best friend..

3 years had gone by.. and we certainly had gone through a lot.. and I thank Allah for He has granted us with happiness & love that keeps growing stronger every day..

To Abang, happy 3rd anniversary.. these 3 years had been so wonderful.. you've been very patient with me.. you're a loving & a caring husband to me.. I hope & pray to celebrate with you in many more years to come,InsyaAllah... for the countless time, I love u! :)

Doctors..

Salam...

Indeed it has been more than a month since my last entry.. apart from exams, lack of ideas would be the main reason this page had been so quiet...

This entry will be a long entry.. and I must warned you that you may not like what I'll write, you may disagree of my humble opinion.. I do not mind.. this is merely my opinion & I know all of us have different experiences which inevitably led us to the differences in our principles & opinions..

Recently, the following link has been increasingly glamour, being posted in the facebook by a few friends of mine

Why we left and why we will continue to leave...

I had involved in a lengthy discussion with my fellow friends (some are doctors, some are not) regarding this matter.. to be honest,my first reaction after reading this article was "i didn't know doctors have serious issues with nurses & MAs back in Malaysia".. but I do understand that this article does not represent the doctors as a whole.. reading the article, I realised it was written based on his own experience.. and as I said earlier, everybody has different experiences.. I know a lot of friends (doctors) who are close to nurses.. again, I know this articles doesn't address the nurses & MAs as a whole.. every basket has a bad apple.. no matter what your profession is, not everyone is really good in what they're doing.. so, it is unfair to generalised just because we know one or two that unfortunately falls into the 'bad apple' category.. even from my own experience, I've worked with, I must say, the best of nurses to the worst ones.. same goes to doctors.. yes, we tend to forget ones that are good.. but I do not like making generalisations.. it unfair to those who has been working very hard to be good,if not the best, in their profession..

Well, the main issue that I would like to discuss does not include the issue above..I've read different sorts of reactions to the above article.. some agree, some don't, some blame the writer back.. it is interesting to see different types of responds especially those of doctors.. i know this issue is a very delicate issues to be discussed.. because all the people including the public are getting different inputs regarding this issue from a lot of different sources.. this issue must be looked at from different various angles..

What I want to discussed first is the issue of doctors overworked in the public sector.. because I believe it is one of main reason why people are unhappy at work which leads to demotivation, dissatisfaction, anger and eventually poor working environment.. it is certainly not a new issue.. it has been a longstanding issue.. it has been highlighted in the news, has been discussed over and over again.. and of the main thing that has been highlighted was the doctors who are working overseas/out of the country and how the government should do something to bring them back.. yes, it may be one of the reasons.. but how about those who quit the public sector to join the private sector? do you know at some point, about one third of doctors leave the public service every year to join the private sector? do you know at some point, private hospitals account for 20 percent of Malaysia’s hospital beds, but they employ about 54 percent of the doctors in Malaysia? what has been done to attract them to stay in public sector? when I Googled about this issue, I came across this

Medical tourism (under the topic Malaysian doctors who return home exempted from public service with conditions)

Wow, that is a lot of money.. from RM58.9 million in 2003 to RM 299.1 million in 2008.. yup, private sector is growing fast.. but what happens to the public sector? hopefully an equal improvement.. I know that the basic salary had been increased for doctors which is a good sign.. I don't really know about other incentives that doctors get in Malaysia.. training grant & study leave would be a good idea.. especially for those who are going for mrcp/mrcog/mrcgp etc.. but we have to realise doctors who left are seeking better life, not only in the financial side (probably not even because of financial stuff) but for better working hours, better facilities & equipments, better working environment.. there must be something that can be done to persuade (not forcing) the doctors to stay in the public sector..

I believe that a proper & thorough study is needed to improve the overall working condition for the public sector.. some doctors are too frustrated that they ended up making complaints in the papers/blogs or whatever medium they can get.. I don't blame them.. but I feel voicing as a group/unit will bring greater effects.. through a proper body for example through NGOs or doctors associations.. but having read those responds by various people, I know it's going to be a challenge.. some doctors are not supportive of the others.. this brings me to the 2nd issue.. I know seniority is a big thing back home.. which has its good and bad side to it.. but I don't understand why it is so badly needed.. respect is something to be earned, not demanded.. and it is sad if a superior is being feared, not being respected.. it doesn't contribute to a positive working environment.. but some said if you're being too kind, they will 'step on your head'.. great! then nobody would ever be nice.. it is always should be give & take.. people being nice to you, you should be nice too.. bullying probably has become less now.. but I do know a friend of mine who quit not because of workload but merely because unacceptable bullying.. it is probably an isolated case.. but it proves that it still happens.. and sadly, when he reported to the hosp director, the answer was 'nothing can be done'..

It is even sadder when the doctors are questioning why others are complaining too much.. funny how many times I've came across this phrase 'kitorang dulu lagi teruk.. tapi survived je..' which is another way of saying why bother changing the system,it's good enough now! of course surviving is one thing, making things better is another.. parents will strive hard to make sure their children has a good if not better life than they have.. but why some doctors doesn't want to do the same for their junior colleagues? refuse to help to ensure better conditions for the next generation? even if they do not want to help, just don't scrutinies others who are fighting for a better future for doctors.. and I know some doctors are sick of hearing others whining especially if the others are their juniors/subordinates.. they feel like many of them are spoil and refuse to learn which unfortunately in some cases are true..but I know it is hard to differentiate between 'spoil' and overworked especially when the superiors already experienced those themselves, that overworking is a norm that every juniors have to face.. but then, less work should mean better outcome,more thorough and quality work can be done which unfortunately some junior doctors take for granted.. the definition of overworked itself varies.. how many works do you have to do to be qualified as overworked? straight 48 hours? 52 hours? 80 hours per week? not having time for breakfast & lunch,does that qualified as overworked? I have no idea of what working time directives does malaysia has for doctors.. but we should have one.. yes, people say doctors must endure long hours.. but not too long.. because tiredness will set in and it would begin to cloud judgment and lead to mismanagement.. doctors are humans.. we have limitations.. our mistakes are often unacceptable.. so whatever can be done to reduce the risks of making mistakes, it should be done..

From the discussions I had,we made a conclusion that doctors should be united.. doctors associations & NGOs representing doctors should be more proactive.. we should put aside whatever differences we have - seniors, juniors, races, local grads, overseas grads- and fight for the better future.. because in the end, we are all working in the same system and we are serving the community.. we deserve the best so that we can give the best.. doctors in the private sectors should help too.. there are so many things that they can do.. I found this blog written by a doctor working in private sector & I found it very useful..

The heart of the matter

and this is one of the article written by him (a very good article)

My health, my country

I'm sure there are more doctors who critically analysing the healthcare system in Malaysia.. as for the above doctor,I must say I like his positivity.. I hope we can stay positive and help doctors like him to improve our healthcare system..

It's time to make our voice be heard.. I'm hoping for better lives for doctors.. in which we have time to do what normal people do - outing with family/friends in the weekends, going for a long holiday every now & then, having time to look after ourselves, having enough time for spouse & children, having the time & energy to study, going out in the evening for a jog/to the gym.. also a good working environment where we respect each other, working in high spirit and with high motivation.. and much more.. it may not happen in 10 years time, probably not in 20 years time.. but we have to start taking steps, big or small.. as it is certainly not impossible..

Another lovely surprise :)

Salam..

Thank you to my dear friends - Syikin, Haizum, Izyan & Sheila for inviting us over for lunch today.. we had delicious nasi kerabu (thank you syikin!!) and lots of desserts.. and they got a cake for me:) thank you again.. It has been quite a long time since I last gossiping with them;) I miss those times when we were all working in the Regional Hospital.. we did have more gatherings back then..now, it is just once in a while.. as they're all working in different hospitals.. Haizum & Izyan are planning to go back to Malaysia for good this July.. hopefully we'll be able to organise a dinner (at least) before they leave.. I really enjoyed the lunch.. we had a good few hours of chit chatting.. now my hubby knows that I'm not the only one who thinks he likes to nag a lot;p hehe..

cutting my birthday cake :)

the beautifully decorated cake..

the glamorous purple wallet.. a present from Syikin.. thanks a million!:)

Thank you very much my dear friends.. may Allah bless you always... :)

Happy birthday to me! :)

Salam..

This weekend has been extra special for me.. coz it's my birthday today!!:) hehe.. Alhamdulillah.. Thank you to Allah for He has given me the chance to still be breathing today in good health and more importantly in iman insyaAllah..

This weekend is a long weekend as it is going to be followed by Easter monday (which is a public holiday.. yippie!).. so we decided to go to Cork after unable to do so for the past 2 weekends.. we left Limerick on Friday evening..Before reaching Fairuz's house, we stopped by Hafiz/Zue's house as I wanted to give her some of the marble cake that I baked earlier that day.. Zue was on her way out to visit her friends' house, so I made a promise that we would come over to her house again before going back to Limerick.. although I was calculating when would be the best time to do so..

On Saturday, Fairuz got a phone call from Hafiz (Apek is his nickname), inviting us over to his house for dinner.. and I was relieved coz at least I can keep my promise to Zue.. She also invited a few other families & friends to come over.. at that stage, I didn't suspect anything coz it is a norm (for us anyway) to invite friends to come over for dinner and 'mengeteh' - that is melepak and chitchatting while having tea;p hehe..

And we had our dinner - the delicious nasi lemak (Zue's specialty) and yummylicious lompat tikam made by Fairuz.. and somebody brought a few cakes which I suspected they're meant for desserts.. while I was enjoying the lompat tikam, Fairuz made an announcement that it was my surprise birthday 'party'!! Oh my God.. that was something that I didn't expect at all.. and to be honest, I don't like to be the centre of attention.. (shy maaa...;p) hehe.. the cakes that they brought was actually my birthday cake.. I was so touched.. thank you my friends!! Zue made a cake as well.. thank you Zue! I am blessed with good friends.. I can't thank them enough for making such an effort to celebrate my birthday.. I don't know who to thank specifically as nobody would say whose idea was it.. So thank all of you - Zue & Apek, Fairuz & Asma', Mas & k.Aini, Fahmi & Izaidah.. also to Aimi, Jamilah, Fadrie, and Muizz.. thank you so much! I really didn't see it was coming.. it was a pleasant surprise.. I didn't expect any surprises for my birthday.. as I'm 28 years old (owh,I'm old!)..;p

Me.. cutting my birthday cake :)

Thank you, my friends! (this is the best pic after a few try.. pheww)

Later that night, my dear hubby was not feeling very well.. he was suffering from gastritis that kept him awake last nite.. it became quite severe that we asked Fairuz's favour to send Shaz to the hospital at 3 am in the morning.. and he came back nearly at half 5 am.. poor him.. after Subuh prayer, then only he was able to sleep.. so we had to change our plan today..

I was sliding into the car when I found a large red envelope together with a pink/red paper bag.. I got a present from my hubby!! yeay!!.. hehe.. he got me a lovely birthday card and something else.. ;) it was wrapped in a pink wrapper.. as I was unwrapping the present, I was thinking hard of what it could be.. I was pretty sure that it was a watch coz I did ask for a watch (I left mine in Malaysia.. huhu).. but I was wrong.. I was half shouting in happiness when I saw this thing..

From my beloved hubby.. :)

Yeay!! I got an Ipod Touch! the one that I was eyeing for.. I was planning to buy it later on when I was rich enough.. hehe.. thank you Abang! Love you to bits!!:) I'm now a happy Ipod user..;)

Red is the theme.. incidental, I think;p thank you Aimi & Jamilah.. :)

As it was quite late when we left Fairuz's house, we decided to drop by k.Azy & Taqi's house as they were hosting a birthday party for Muslih.. the food was super lovely! I think that was the first time that I had steamboat.. hehe.. it was a lovely party.. To Muslih, happy belated birthday! :)

We also had another birthday party invitation.. but as we reached Limerick quite late, we had to turned down the invitation.. we're very sorry k.Agee & uncle.. I felt so guilty when I found out that she was planning on celebrating my birthday as well.. and that she got me a birthday present.. huhu.. Sorry k.Agee.. *my guilty feeling hasn't subside yet* huhu.. to Aqilah, happy belated birthday!! hope you have a blast birthday! :) to k.Agee, thank you very much & I'm very sorry that I wasn't there.. :(

Apart from my husband being sick, I am a very happy birthday girl! Alhamdulillah.. All praise to Allah who has granted me with good health, happiness, loving families and a loving husband, and great friends whom I considered as my own brothers and sisters.. Thank you Allah.. and thank you for those who remembered my birthday either with your wish or in your du'a and for those who had planned and made effort to celebrate my birthday (can't thank you enough!!).. may Allah bless you always..

p/s : Happy belated birthday to my beloved sister, K.Yah, whose birthday was yesterday.. may you get the best in dunia & akhirat! love youuuu... :)

Ketika Cinta Bertasbih (KCB)...

Salam..

It has been a long time since I made a post in this blog.. I intentionally left it for my dear hubby to write in this blog.. hehe.. I have actually wrote 2 posts but then I keep them as drafts (for the time being).. still need some adjustments before I can publish them.. will do so when time permits..:)

For this entry, I would like to bring your attention to an Indonesian movie entitled "Ketika Cinta Bertasbih".. it is a movie adapted from a novel written by Habiburahman El Shirazy.. if I'm not mistaken, this is the second movie adapted from his novel (after "Ayat-ayat Cinta")..

I was introduced to KCB by K.Riza quite some time ago.. but only last week did I watch it.. Subhanallah.. it is a beautiful movie made in the course of da'wah.. a movie that makes us think & realised that we are far from the true teachings of Islam especially when it comes to love & marriage..

Too many things have been so common nowadays.. too many that we have become desensitized by some mistakes & wrongdoings.. I take one example, in engagement ceremony.. (okay, I did have an engagement ceremony as well..).. there are certain things that has changed so much from the past.. nowadays, not only the guy is present, but he gets a ring as well.. not to mention taking pictures together as a couple and how grand the ceremony is.. and recently, I bumped into somebody's engagement pics & the guy actually put the ring on the lady's finger (in stead of being done by his mother!).. okay, that is soooo wrong.. unacceptable (to me).. is it even legal?? (just being sarcastic;p).. hmm, I wonder from which culture did we adopt these practises..

And one more thing that is becoming more popular nowadays, pre wedding photography.. which I very much opposed (especially when it involves holding hands or hugging).. it costs a lot of money (which should be saved for the wedding itself), it is unnecessary and is far from Allah's order..

“And come not near to zina. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way.”

translation from al israa'; ayat 32

Come not near to zina.. meaning not only not to do it, but don't even go near it..

In the early chapter of the book "Tarbiyatul Aulad fil Islam" (Bringing Up Children in Islam) by Abdullah Nashih ‘Ulwan, it is written that tarbiyah should start before the child is even born.. that is tarbiyah to the parents.. once one able to follow the teachings of Islam, she /he can then teach her/his children.. and tarbiyah of oneself started even before marriage (including choosing a spouse).. A beautiful family, brought up in accordance with the teachings in Islam, that is what we are aiming for..

Back to movie that I would strongly suggest you to watch.. yes, this movie has some weaknesses.. but look at the message that it tries to convey.. that love should start after marriage.. no need for dating, no need to spend hours on the phone.. and one should prepare oneself with the knowledge of Islam.. that we must believe of His words in the Quran..

"Women impure are for men impure and men impure are for women impure; and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable"

( traslation from surah An-Nur, ayat 26)

Asbabul nuzul for this ayat: Allah revealed proof of innocence of ‘Aisyah r.a. and Shafwan bin al-Mu’attal.. from the fitnah and slanderous lies about them..
And indeed this ayat can be applied to us too..

It is never late for us to improve ourselves as long as we're still breathing.. InsyaAllah..

p/s: It's sad to know that KCB didn't enter the cinemas in Malaysia.. it would be a good alternative for all the modern love stories ..

Facts : the actors & actresses playing the lead parts in this movie were selected through a reality TV.. of all, only one has a background of acting.. amongst the criteria were ability to read Al-Quran & speak Arabic.. it is so touching to see they performed sujud syukur when they were selected to act in this movie (can be watched in the short clip at the end of KCB 1)..

Trailer KCB



Do watch this movie in your leisure time.. :)
Salam...

Farewell For Friends

Salam..

About two weeks ago, I updated this blog with an entry reminding me about how hard it would be facing life when we have people depending on us.. Well, today will be a bit different.. First up, I will be sharing a little bit of our recent event with some of our friends who will be leaving this country in the near future, going back to Malaysia..

Last Wednesday - in fact, on Paddy's Day - our friend Kak Riza and Ustaz Wan held a lunch gathering specially for two families who, at present, are busy packing their luggage to go back home after finishing their studies here in Limerick University (UL).. They are Abg Zali-Kak Kin's and Hadi-Kak Aida's families..

Over the last 2 years of me and Ina living in Limerick, we have had the magnificent chance to get to know and befriend these lovely families.. In fact, when Abg Zali and Kak Kin were blessed with Hamdan, their fourth child, we were here too..

Abg Zali is in his final stages of completing his PhD in UL.. Kak Kin was a doctor in Kuantan, Pahang, before she took three years off to come to Ireland with her husband.. They are blessed with a daughter and three sons - Huda, Fawwaz, Nabhan and little Hamdan.. We will certainly miss this family when they leave us here..

Hadi is also just a few sentence away from completing his PhD, also in UL.. His wife, Kak Aida, was an English teacher (as what Ina told me, anyway) before leaving her career for a short while to come to Ireland.. They are blessed with three children - a boy and two girls.. Unfortunately for me, I can never remember their names, except vaguely the youngest one, Qistina.. Even so, I can't be certain.. Again, we will miss this lovely couple and their kids..

Pretty Faces

I have now developed some interest in portrait photography.. At the start of my so-called new interest in photography, I thought that having a DSLR would aid me in taking scenery pictures as I love great scenery.. But, alas, it was actually portrait photography that sticks with me at the moment.. I love capturing emotions which, undoubtedly, reveal more than just smiles and laughter, but also innocence and truth..

Now, why was I blabbering about my photography? Reason is simple.. At the recent lunch gathering, I managed to snap a few pictures, mainly as an everlasting memory of our friends, but on top of that, I managed to capture the innocent and pretty faces of the people there.. Hopefully, one day we can always look back at the pictures and remember the visuals of truthful friendship smiles and laughter, and the great innocence of the moment..

I am happy to share these with you..

Ustaz Wan (host) & Abg Zali

Hadi

Happy faces on stairs

Qistina

Nabhan

Huda, Hamdan & Fawwaz

With Hafiy

Salam..

Testing Times

Salam..

Another week has passed since my last entry.. In fact, over a week, anyway.. But, hey, who's keeping count?

Not much has happened over the last 10 days, but enough for me to scribble a word or two to fulfill my so-called resolution for consistency.. A call for interview, a week stepping up as team leader and a few trips around the Limerick ground..

Work, Work, Work

As usual, in fact, as any person in my line of work would probably agree, the bulk of our lives, and indeed, conversation revolve around work.. For me, this week has been quite interesting, in a different kind of way.. Two reason for sure, 1) the absence of my registrar for few days, and 2) what's next for me in my career calling..

I had planned to take a week off as my annual leave last week but due to unforeseen circumstances, albeit not from my part, I had to postpone it to this week.. But no harm done for me, anyways.. What's interesting is the 'turbulent' during the week.. My registrar was away on Tuesday for his interview in Cork, my boss was away on Tuesday handling an interview in Dublin, and again both of them were away on Friday for a conference in Galway.. That meant that I was in charge of the dock on Tuesday and Friday.. Furthermore, we were on-take that Monday night, which also meant that, if I had to handle the post-call ward round alone - it would be either disastrous or a complete calamity.. Each way, I was screwed! Luckily, things were under control.. Phew!

I got called for an interview for an A&E job for coming July.. So bold of me that that was the only job I applied for! Should I not get the job, I will be forced to 'change' my career to a house-hubby.. I should be able to make a strong case for my liking of trauma and acute medicine by proving that this is the only job I applied for, plus the off-the-record chats with the bosses down in the department.. Hopefully, I am making the right choice by taking this road.. May Allah guide me to be the best I can be..

Seeing Difficulties

The last few months, I learned that what I am facing now is not as hard as what some others are facing daily.. I now realize how hard it is to juggle between study and work and rearing a family.. But realizing is not the same as living it..

A very nice couple who are both good friends of mine and Ina stayed with us over the last two months.. Adding to the joy to our house was their little boy.. Of course, it was Ina who looked after the boy when all of us were in hospital..

The joy in their faces every single time they held their boy was indescribable.. In fact, even I enjoy snuggling the chubby kid.. But, with that I also saw how difficult it was for them (and, I assume, every other young family) to juggle between the chores of daily life.. I wonder if I would be able to step up like they do? It gave me great pleasure that them staying at our place also meant that Allah had given me and Ina some opportunity to lighten the hardship they were facing, even if not much..

People say 'learn from your experience'.. I beg to extend.. I believe we learn more from our own and other people's experience, and the only way to learn is by seeing, listening and, if you are really lucky, sharing that experience.. Indeed, these are testing times for any family.. But I always remember and will always remind others around me that Allah has given us so much that it is only fair for us that He would give some hardship and difficulties for us to face, only to strengthen our faith and belief in Him..

Some day, when my turn comes to be tested, I hope Ina and I will be as strong as our friends.. The courage they have showed us and the patience they have portrayed are second to none..

Salam..

Big Steps Ahead..

Salam..

Ahh.. Every single time.. Every single time my fingers hit this laptop keyboard, trying to jot a post, it would be my 'routine' apologetic opening paragraph.. For some, maybe this is not a big deal, but if this blog ever has (or had) avid followers, then most likely there are now none!

Maybe I should just make a brave resolution and try to make this a routine for me, jotting a word or two, even if not much..

Of course, so much has happened since my own last entry.. But at this stage, I can never begin to share all.. Maybe a little bit of what has happened recently would suffice..

Career Choices

It is the time again of the year when doctors in the country will be looking for jobs for the coming July.. For some lucky ones, jobs are already secured - those in the SpR schemes or the SHO schemes.. As for me, the last time I went fishing for jobs was two years ago.. Then I got on to the Medical scheme.. It is almost over now, and my two-year contract is almost up.. I have to pack my CV and start fishing again.. As for Ina, one year has almost elapsed since she decided to take the year off.. Now, she too will go fishing with me..

Career choices are not easy a task to decide.. I am looking to take a 90-degree turn in my career and switch to my new interest, from Internal Medicine to Emergency Medicine.. Don't ask me why or how that happened - it is hard to explain.. Needless to say, I am still banging my head to complete my medical membership..


Now that is just one side of the coin flip.. The other side is about my progress in trying to make some publications to 'sweeten' my CV.. At this current moment, things have moved forward in small baby steps.. I have in my bag three poster presented as second author, one case report as first author.. I am hoping to get this case report done and dusted by end of March, if I'm lucky.. One poster has already been presented in the Irish Association for Palliative Care meeting in Dublin earlier this month (many thanks to Along) and the same audit has been accepted for poster presentation in the European Association of Palliative Care in Glasgow in June.. Along might not be able to go and I wonder if I would be available.. It would look nice in my CV if I could.. We'll see..

In the meantime, there are a few courses I need to get into, most of them related to my Emergency Medicine hopes, and some audits that I am to start with few colleagues here before I end my medical scheme.. Ahh, so much to do..

Some For Me, Some For Others

Alongside the things that I am doing for my own career and CV, recently enough, I regained my interest in teaching, certainly when I remember the days when I was craving for help and assistance facing the final year exams.. It was horrible!

And because of that, I have always offered, to my best avail, to help students, especially the final year ones, who are ever facing the biggest challenge in their lives yet.. Over the last few weeks, I have got involved with some final medical students - be it in hospital or in small discussion groups.. It gives me great joy to see that I could share some of my knowledge and (possibly) experiences to help and guide them through these coming tough days.. May Allah help them as much and more as He helped me during my days back then..

I still have a few more weeks to serve them if they would allow me..

Oh, well.. Maybe that is all for now.. Maybe I will update some more some other time, hopefully in the near future..

Salam..

Mixtures..

Salam..

A month has passed by without any post on this blog.. my hubby has been asking me to update this blog.. but I just couldn't find the time & the right mood.. it has been quite a busy month for me with lots of things happened.. i'll try to keep this post short & sweet.. (honestly, I'm still not in the right mood;p)

1. my new 'career'..;)

You must be wondering what can possibly keep me busy apart from the usual house chores.. i'm now officially a babysitter.. but for 2 months only..;) I'm babysitting irfan hafiy, a very cute 3-month-old baby of Fairuz & Asma'.. Fairuz is working here in Limerick with the geriatric team while Asma' is doing her medical & surgical rotation here.. now, I have a new routine on the weekdays.. & now I have a taste of a true housewife;) it can be very tiring really.. babysitting is not a new thing for me.. I've babysat a few babies before & hafiy is the youngest of all for now:) hafiy is a well behaved baby & I've learned his everyday routines (although he can change his routine everyday;p).. it's not that hard to babysit him.. when he is sleeping, I'll do the chores - cooking, cleaning etc.. and at the end of the day, I'm usually very tired.. although I have the whole night sleep uninterrupted.. unlike the mothers of young babies.. I must say I'm very impressed of those who can function very well although they have only a few hours of night time sleep after the exhausting daytime chores! well,I guess it is a good practise for me(?);P

2. birthdays..

There is quite a long list of birthday boys & girls for January & February.. started with Fairuz's birthday on 22nd Jan, my dear hubby's birthday on 2nd Feb, my sister & nieces' birthday on 3rd Feb and Ustaz Wan's birthday on 7th Feb.. I've made 3 cakes for the birthday boys - red velvet cake for Fairuz, fresh fruit cake for my hubby & marble cheesecake with cream cheese frosting for ustaz.. None for my dear sister as she is far away in Malaysia.. i'Allah someday I'll make a cake for her & Nusaibah:)

Happy birthday to the birthday boys & girls! May Allah bless you always...

3. inhuman humans..

It was very sad & disturbing reading the news lately on the unfortunate babies who were found lifeless at different places back in Malaysia.. 3 babies in 3 consecutive days.. how on earth do people have the heart to do these (or should I say these people have no heart at all?).. I've heard from my friends who are working in Malaysia that there is a very high numbers of unplanned/unwanted pregnancies (especially those who are not married) - sadly many of them are Muslims.. unwanted pregnancies can lead to lies, feeling terrified, panicky and eventually lead to abandonment or worse, killing of these poor innocent babies.. there is only one solution to this matter.. prevention.. for prevention is always better than cure.. and how to prevent? the answer is simple.. back to Islam.. the teachings of Islam is the perfect solution..

"O you who have believed, enter into Islam completely [and perfectly] and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy."

(translation from verse 208, surah Al-Baqarah)

Read the Quran, understand, think & practise.. Don't let Islam be only in your name or only been written on your IC.. Let us be a true Muslim.. Ameen.. InsyaAllah..

I think that's all for now.. hopefully I'll find the mood to write again in the near future.. 'til we meet again in the next post,I'Allah..

P/s: I really think I need a good massage therapy:)