Updates...

Salam..

I'm back again.. I've so much to tell but i'm not in a good mood to write it all.. probably I'll write about a thing or two..

I'll be going back to geriatrics!

My dear husband has told you that I got the SHO job in geriatrics.. To be honest with you, I never thought that medicine will be my 'thing'.. I never know what I wanted to do.. but since I started working in surgery,the answer became clear to me... medicine it is!! before I applied for the job,I was half-hearted because I was thinking of getting a few months off after this long internship that I do.. but on the other hand,I felt that i'll waste my skills & time as well.. I was really stuck.. I was worried that if I do work,I'll not be able to give my 100%.. I really didn't know how to decide.. My husband left it in my hand to decide.. I know he didn't want to put any pressure on me or to influence me in any way.. when I called my parents, I didn't have the strength to even mention the idea of being jobless.. so,in the end I decided to apply & let the 'nature takes its course'.. hehehe... I always believed that Allah knows the best for me.. I always believe in that..

Before I was called for the interview,unexpected things happened.. My original plan was to go for the interview without telling anyone & just tried my luck... (OK,probably it was not a good idea & it would be one of the 'mission impossible's;p) then one day,my ever-so-nice ex-SpReg, Catherine asked me where did I applied for my jobs & ever-so-clever me answered that I applied for the job here.. she was delighted & said that she will mentioned it to Prof Lyons.. And as I applied for the jobs,I asked Mr Waldron to be one of my referee & he also said he would mention it to Prof Lyons & Dr Clinch.. I was so touched by how good they're to me.. & I knew then that everyone in the interviewing panel would be expecting me & guess what,that actually made me more nervous! I knew they're all very nice & wanted to help me but what if I totally screwed up in the interview? that was my biggest fear when i walked into the interview.. It was my 1st interview for jobs & I was the 1st person to be interviewed.. It went OK.. I was so relieved when it was over.. and I think I did pretty OK.. I went home thinking,could I get the job? there were like 30+ of us and of which more than half of them that I knew (either from dublin or those who are also working here)..

The next day I got the news,1st from Catherine,then from Prof Lyons & I got the formal news from Ruth (human resources).. when Ruth 1st told me that i'm the 1st on the panel,I didn't quite get it.. I thought she meant that I was the 1st being interviewed.. and she said it again that I'm the 1st on the panel (meaning that I'm the 1st in the ranking),then only the message got through to me.. wow,I didn't expect to be the 1st in the ranking! Alhamdulillah.. being in the 1st interview & the 1st being interviewed,I didn't expect that actually.. Allah has ease my way & I knew this is whats best for me.. to continue my journey in my career.. and probably acute medicine is my destiny:) As for now,things has gone quite smoothly for me.. Alhamdulillah.. & thanks to those who have helped me along the journey especially my beloved husband... thank you!

This is just the beginning.. Although I am happy,I am scared as well.. starting as a SHO means more responsibilities & more expectations to come.. and how will I survive my oncall?? i'm really scared thinking of that.. I have more than 2 months to prepare myself & I will try my very best!

Good days & bad days

I guess it is normal for us to have good days & bad days.. and i have a few of them.. and I guess today is one of the bad days.. I came to work late (I didn't realise that I didn't set my alarm last night) & it totally ruined my mood.. and i guess everyone can see it in my face.. and then something good happened.. my consultant,Miss Merrigan praised me on my good work on updating the admissions list in the office.. She made my day.. Its not the praise that matters, but showing some appreciation do make a lot of differences.. it was a simple well done but knowing that she appreciates it makes me feels good & lifts up my mood.. it is amazing how a simple line can change your day.. and I learn today that being a superior not only involves giving orders but appreciates it when its done.. and I think it is very important especially when you're working under pressure.. It becomes a strong motivation to go on eventhough you're exhausted and nearly wanted to give it up.. Thanks Miss Merrigan! I do feel that I need some support.. probably because surgery is not my favourite.. I try to give my best but its kind of hard when i'm not totally in love with surgery.. It's very different from medicine.. but I do respect the surgeons.. its just that I prefer medicine,although its busy but I love it and makes me feel less stressful..

I guess I better stop now.. I'll write again soon..
p/s: my husband is bored when I'm 'entertaining' the laptop screen rather than talking to him.. hehehe..