Good luck,abang!! ご幸運を祈ります!

Salam..

Hi everyone.. looks like my dear hubby has conquered this blogspot.. never thought he loves to write.. honestly, I'm surprised!! hehe.. but i do love reading what he wrote.. and i'm expecting more to come.. :)

This entry is dedicated to my husband.. He is going for his MRCP exam this tuesday.. I know he is kind of pessimistic about passing this exam but hey,who knows what will happen.. I'm praying hard that he will pass this exam.. so,abang.. chaiyo'!!

He has been on study leave since monday.. but i don't really know how much study he had done:) hehe.. I think I know how hard it is to study while you're working.. when you're on holidays,you just feel you want to sit down & relax.. hmm.. that's very tempting.. but I never can do that.. at least I need to clean the house.. or do laundry.. or cooks.. I enjoy doing the chores actually.. just need longer holidays i guess.. hehe.. and I shouldn't be complaining as my beloved husband always give me a hand..:)

Enough with me.. to my dear husband,do believe in yourself.. As I always told you before, just do your best and leave the rest to Allah.. He always knows whats the best for you & me.. so, whatever the outcome will be, be happy with it.. :) Chaiyo'!!

Welcoming Ramadhan..

Salam..

Oh my God! That would probably be your exclamation when you read this very entry.. After all, I have in someway monopolized this blog.. But I promise to make this entry short and (possibly) sweet..


Ramadhan, The Month of Muslims
Many of us are aware and excited that Ramadhan is coming again.. Alhamdulillah, I am blessed to have the opportunity to welcome Ramadhan again..

I still remember what Ramadhan meant to be as a child.. I was merely seven or eight.. The thought of Ramadhan meant a whole lot different then.. Ramadhan was the definition of no-eat-no-drink long whole month, but it also meant Hari Raya (Eid) was coming closer - new clothes, new shoes, holiday with my family! Yes, it did meant a whole month of daytime fasting.. I hardly ever remembered it being any other than that.. Just fasting.. And the wait for Eid was worth it.. It would always be a school holiday.. The whole family would drive back home to my grandparents' house and it would be a massive gathering of the family - and I mean MASSIVE! I have lost count of the number, but take it this way - mom has 13 siblings, all married, and I have around 60+ cousins, and a small number of my cousins are already married some have children now.. We're talking in the range of 80 people in the family gathering.. However, even given the figure, it is now quite unusual for all of us to be there at the same time.. So the gathering would somewhat be a moderate group in the end..

Those were the days..

Now, Ramadhan has a lot more deep meaning.. I will not explain all of them here.. Suffice to say, with a little reading and a few talks and sermons attended, and of being an adult and a husband, Ramadhan is no longer just about the fasting.. Allah has clearly mentioned in the Quran : The night of Al-Qadr (decree) is better than a thousand months [Surah Al-Qadr : 3].. But indeed nobody knows which night is the night.. Some scholars believe it is one of the last ten days of ramadhan, while some others postulate it is one of the odd-number nights in the last ten days.. I best believe that all of them are great nights and no matter which night, I will try to fill my last third of Ramadhan with a lot of ibadah.. Also, in this blessed month that the Quran was first revealed to Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.. Bear that in mind - this sacred month was chosen by Allah to reveal the Holy Quran.. Have a think..

I have now learned to welcome Ramadhan in a different way.. I see Ramadhan as a month in which Allah has blessed us with a lot of multiplications.. Every good deed that is done in this month is multiplied by a great amount.. No one could quantify the factor, only He knows.. We are all encouraged to recite the Quran more than we usually do, to do more of the sunnah (optional, extra) prayers.. This month has become the month of cleansing and protecting our souls.. Clean ourselves by doing more and more good deeds, abstain from doing any evil deeds and even from evil thoughts.. Protect ourselves from our own nafs.. We know that syaitan and his troop are being chained, so that we are protected from him.. And this month marks the starting line of the battle within ourselves, only against our own nafs.. May we all be strong and emerge victorious at the end of this month..

I am glad and I am very blessed being given this opportunity again to welcome Ramadhan.. Even better, I have the great opportunity to celebrate this holy month with my beloved wife.. We both welcome this month with great open hearts and we pray Allah gives us the strength and wisdom to better ourselves, and we pray that we will sustain the spirit of Ramadhan even after the departure of it and hopefully come next Ramadhan, we will still be around to welcome it again, insya-Allah..

I take this small minute of yours to wish you a great Ramadhan.. May we all take this opportunity with great sincerity and get the best of benefit from this month.. Salam Ramadhan Al-Mubarak to all of you..

Paranormal Hysteria & 51st Independence Day..

Salam..

I'm back again.. Not that this increase of frequency of blogging is a sign of a new hobby, but rather the (supposedly) leisure of time that is available during my study break holiday.. I soothe myself by trying to believe that this is one break from continuous study period..

Anyway..


Paranormal Hysteria
'Histeria' is never an odd word, especially coming from a culturally rich Malaysian background.. Unfortunately, for my own background, I have been thrown into the 99%-evidence-based medical world and gladly saying that I am still swimming in this field.. What this means is 'histeria' brings a totally different view..

In cultural Malaysia, 'histeria' is quite a common phenomenon when an individual (or more commonly a group of individual), more often that not a young teenage girl, becomes somewhat emotinally disturbed or mentally shaken that the result is uncontrollable screaming, unconsolable crying and physically agitated.. There are several proposed cause, however, one precedes any other explanation - a paranormal disturbance, namely ghost or bad omen, seeping into the individual and causing physical symptoms.. In more lay wording, 'makhluk halus' (ie. 'soft being')..

Recent occuring in Malaysia happened in a secondary school in Kuantan, Pahang.. I shall not reveal the name of the school for a variety of my own reasons.. Plus this raw discussion is not about the school or personnel involved, but rather a global/universal view of the happening itself.. A total of 35 students have now been the victim of this 'histeria' phenomenon.. The number may still be counting.. Many have been tried to resolve the problem as many are undoubtedly disturbed : The victims, the unaffected students being in the middle of the scene, the parents, the teachers.. The school is no longer a conducive centre for the pupils to study.. The upcoming PMR and SPM general examinations make the tension worse.. Steps including calling upon Islamic scholars to 'deal' these creatures and potentially perform a cleansing exorcism to the place.. Is it possible that maybe we really need a Melinda Gordon equivalent in our own backyard?

As mentioned above, it is not uncommon for the blame is put on the paranormal activities.. In fact, many still believe it is the main cause of it.. A recent poll in a leading Malaysian newspaper revealed 70% of the voters believe that it is the doing of these ghosts.. Only a mere 20% thinks this is due to an emotional stress within the nuclear community of the school..

From a definition perspective, hysteria is a state of mind of unmanageable fear or emotional excess.. The word 'hysteria' itself is derived from a Greek word hystera, meaning uterus.. It is of no wonder that hysteria is more common in women than men.. Fear is often caused by multiple events from one's past and the overwhelming fear causes the individual to lose self control, hence the state of being hysterical.. Many psychiatrists have already given up on the term hysteria and replacing them with synonyms like 'psychosomatic', 'functional psychosis', 'psychogenic', 'non-organic' or 'medically unexplained'.. Indeed, no blood test or brain scan can explain the symptoms of hysteria..

Questions remain : Is this a work of a paranormal being manifesting physically in individuals? Or, is this a truly unexplained 'disease' of the brain?

If you have not noticed, I used the term 'histeria' in the earlier paragraphs but then used 'hysteria' later in the entry.. I believe that the term 'hysteria' does not equate to describe the 'histeria' phenomenon in Malaysia.. The term hysteria is used long since the Greeks were dominant in the ancient world, BUT the definition does not explain the histeria occurrence.. 'Hysteria' is a more 'medical and Western' explanation of so-called disease.. But 'Histeria' is a physical and visible scene.. 'Hysteria' does not specifically include, or concur on, the existence of paranormal involvement causing the physical symptyoms..

It is hard to say if I am a stern believer of such paranormal existence or a modern medical-based thinker totally excluding the possibilities.. Having witnessed a few myself, I can safely say that given the chance of encounter, I can not say that this is all psychotic or psychosomatic in nature.. Indeed, my medical background could not explain this and even worse there is no evidence to base this upon.. But it also hard for me with the medical background to say that this is definitely a paranormal activity in the picture.. Yes, I do believe that there is syaitan (satan) and ruh (spirits) and it is important for a Muslim to believe in the ghaib as clearly mentioned in the Quran.. But I still find the ghosts are of a different category - hard to explain.. I believe that syaitan makes himself physical by attacking the weak, hence the physical symptoms..

Clearly, the Holy Quran has given us the great guide on how to see and face this encounters.. The words of the Quran is the best protection, the ablution (wudhu') is a similar protection against syaitan.. It is down to us to practice these and many other simple exercises to stengthen our faith in Allah..

A wise man once said to me : Kalau tak percaya Tuhan, senanglah nak percaya hantu (If you don't believe in God (Allah), then it is easy for you to believe in ghosts).. I thank him for saying that to me..


Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!
31st August 2008 will mark another remembrance day of our independence.. Much has changed since we declared its independence in 1957, that's 51 years ago..

We have had 4 great Prime Ministers (although none without their turbulent episodes during the time of their reign), massive economic booms and downfalls along the way, political changes and haywires and cultural assimilation and enrichment.. All those made Malaysia a better country, a stronger nation and a place of harmony..

I am writing a small segment in this entry purely to wish all Malaysians a Happy Celebration of the country's 51st independence.. I will write again sometime of what this celebration means to me.. But for now, just sit back and relax.. Enjoy the fireworks and parade and remember the pride of being a Malaysian..

Till we meet again..

Salam..

End User, First Provider..

Salam..

I'm back again! Nothing major to share in this entry.. Just another thought, and possibly after-thought, about my user-provider status in the rung of the ladder..


End User
Not many are familiar with this term in the first place.. Let us take a short stroll down Wikipedia-lane..

A lot of us are unaware that we are actually end-users in this ever-developing technological world.. Almost all of us are very fluent and familiar, and even some of us very well-versed, with Yahoo!, Google, Hotmail and others, but little that we know, we are actually using a product (or service) here.. Even by searching using these tools, we are actually promoting and (in a small but definite significant way) 'buying' the products but not even realising it..

For example, Yahoo! was born in 1994 by Jerry Yang and David Filo.. Few months before that, they were graduate students at Stanford University.. Two years later, Yahoo! raised USD33.8 million in their first public offering, selling 2.6 million shares at USD13 each.. That's USD1.4 million every month and almost USD47,000 per day! Who are the users? US! Of course, not all of us are players in the stock and share fields, but this is just a rough calculation of how much they - or even we can - gain by being a provider..


Another example, in 1996, Sabeer Bhatia and Jack Smith created Hotmail, the first webmail service in the world.. Within the next 18 months, Hotmail reported to have over 18million users worldwide.. In the same month of the report, Hotmail was sold to Microsoft at a price tag of USD400 million! That's again USD740,000 per day!

These are among the providers of service that we know of..

Unfortunately for us, we are at the lowest rung of the ladder - we are the USERS.. We use the products for our convenience, to help us do things the quick and easy way.. We use Hotmail and Yahoo! and Google on almost daily basis.. And these people are making profits in millions..

But, hey! There's no shame in being an end-user.. The world does not consist of multi-potential, super-intellectual individuals that can be ever self-sufficient.. Instead, we complement each other by specialising in different fields and providing different services and products.. Yes, Sergey Brin and Larry Page may have founded Google, but they still need Mr Barber to have a haircut! And they still need Starbucks to have coffee!

Looking from a healthcare professional point of view, I'm feeling less and less ashamed of being an end-user, despite the thought and ambition to be a supplier and provider.. Yes, when we look into the big scale of things, we will somehow feel "I could never be like Bill Gates, or any of the other people who invented Windows, Yahoo! or Google".. In fairness, by naming and comparing ourselves with individuals, we are actually looking at ourselves under a microscope and comparing with someone we look through a telescope! In the bigger scheme of things, they are not the world, but part of it.. It would be unfair to ourselves to compare like-for-like, as they are in a different field than our own playground..

Remember : All of us are part of this world, but none of us is the world!


First-Provider
Difficult as it is to speak for anyone, I will now blog on to raise my views regarding being a provider from a doctor's perspective..

Having worked in different specialties, it has come to a clear that even in a general hospital, that all doctors are indeed complementing each other.. This is an example of a complementing community on a somewhat small scale.. Referring people with diabetes to Endocrinologists, people with chronic airway disease to Respiratory Physicians, people with cancer to Oncologists, and people with terminal untreatable disease to Palliative Medicine are just among the examples of complementary medicine in the setting.. Even more than that, they are exactly examples of knowledge sharing among the ever-developing medical scientific world..

Many of you would think that I am again leading this entry towards an end-user perspective.. Au contraire, this leads towards a providers view..

Medicine is one of the most sought-after service, and by means of no comparison with any other fields.. I'm proud to say that I am part of it! We are the FIRST PROVIDER of the medical service and specialty in the setting that we are in - hospitals, hospices or general practices.. The decision of which antibiotics, what scans or what blood tests are the common 'conflicts' within a doctor's mind, having the patients' interest and care upfront.. And the art of making the decision does not come cheap.. Years of hard work in medical school, further drenching in sweat in the early years of work, more exams and tests, but above all, the experience that comes with all of that package is invaluable..

At the exact moment of making a decision, no Google, nor Yahoo!, nor Hotmail can be of help.. And at that precise moment, the doctor is the FIRST PROVIDER..

This is one of the simplest of examples of an end-user of the internet, being a first provider in another field of expertise.. There are many more.. Linus Torvalds (creator of Linux) needing a haircut or even Malaysian Premier Pak Lah going out to have roti canai and teh tarik!


Complementary Lifestyle For Complementing Life
The conclusion is indeed rather simple and straight forward enough.. All of us are in one way an end-user, but also more importantly each of us is a first provider of some sort.. We complement each other by just being us, by being good at what we do..

I do believe that this notion is enough to help some of us (if not all) to re-arrange our telescopes and microscopes so that we do not see others as so big and ourselves being so small.. Instead, we should start focusing on how we can be a better provider of our service and/or products and stop feeling ashamed of being an end-user of another person's product or service..

Do not be too worried about the money they are making, because money can't buy happiness.. But be very worried if you are regressing from your specialty and skills that you may not be able to provide a good service.. The basis of feeling accomplished and closure is at the feeling of being satisfied with the job you have done or the service you have presented.. Even Mastercard can't beat that! Priceless!

Remember :

We are all End-Users of someone's product
But we are also Providers of our product to someone else

Well, that is all for this entry.. A little thought to ponder..

See you all again sometime soon!

Thinking of You, Always..

My Bubbly Wife
Recently I heard this lovely song.. On the tele and on the radio.. Very simple indeed is the song, but the lyrics touched me.. It's a song by a new artiste by the name of Colbie Caillat.. She's 22 and she's Californian..

Enough about her.. I dedicate this song for my lovely wife, Ina, with my heartful message.. Thinking of you, always..

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglees in a silly place

The simple start of the song, unattached to the insanity of the world and chaotic arguments of the people, is just the best way to describe how I feel every morning when I wake up with my wife by my side.. Whether she's still asleep or already awoken when I open my eyes, it does not matter at all.. The freshness of the morning and the calmness of the environment do make me feel that indeed I am in a bubble.. A bubble that has nothing in it except the two of us and filled with lots of love.. A smile and that just makes my day..

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I may not necessarily get the tinkles, but the feeling is rather difficult to describe in words.. I guess I may never be able to describe.. Maybe that's what people name 'LOVE'.. All in all, yes, it is love that I am feeling all the time.. The sense of completeness, the feeling of complemented by another soul bound by the knots of faith and trust and care for each other.. It'd be almost contradictory of my own words and feelings if I suggest to just stay for a while now.. I'd love it if she stays with me forever.. Words can never describe the length as we are all subjected to the uncertainty of the future, the unknowns of death and the unpredictability of the human changes - be it physical, mental or emotional.. But what we have is the oneness of our love and the truthful prayer from our hearts that Allah will remain us with each other, and insya-Allah, until the day of judgment and then in Jannah..

The rain is fallin' in my window pane
But we are hidin' in a safer place
Under the covers stayin' safe and warm
You gave me feelings that I adore What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just, "Mmm.."

Rain.. So many artistes have used this somewhat 'coldly welcomed' weather phenomenon as a soothing, cleansing or even calming expression.. Contrary to the Irish popularity 'vote', rain is not what is usually welcomed in this country.. Recently it brought flood in Newcastle West and indeed in Santry, Dublin.. But why still artistes keep using RAIN? November Rain (Guns 'n Roses), Dancing in the Rain (Hansons), Singing in the Rain (Frank Sinatra) just to name a few.. Even more put RAIN in the lyrics but not the title..

Maybe the explanation is simple.. Environmentally, the rain 'washes' away the impurities in the air - dust, smog and smoke from pollution - and also freshens the air up.. The sweet smell of air after rain is just soothing.. Sentimentally, rain washes the impurities of the heart.. Every drop of the rain is likened to the drops of Heaven and cleanses the fiery anger of the heart, the turbulent of the sole - just by being RAIN..

And my wife is no less than the soothing rain of my life.. Cools me down when I'm angry, softens my turbulents just by being herself.. And with her I 'hide' in a place where our struggles of the day are untangled and straightened.. And her presence is the warmth I badly need each day.. There's absolutely everything to say about my wife, but at the same time, there's actually no word to describe what she is.. All these words are just...her shadows.. It's no wonder, even Colbie just describes what she says as "Mmm.."

I've been asleep for awhile now
You tucked me in just like a child now
'Cause everytime you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel you warmth

Closure of every night is complete with her by my side.. It has been 15 months and still there's admirably more to come.. My feelings for her grow by the day.. It is not a secret at all.. In fact, I'm proud to scream it to the world how much I love my wife.. The comfort is there for me.. Pride and humble intertwined like a bouquet of flowers perfectly matched in a garden..

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
'Cause you make me smile
Baby, just take your time now
Holdin' me tight..

I dedicate this song to my wife, Ina - you make my life complete, you make my life wonderful.. I may not say these words enough :

I love you forever, and always..

Bye-Bye Beijing & Welcome Study Leave

Bye-Bye Beijing, Hello London
It is somewhat almost a sad picture to see the end of this years Olympics.. I'm not 100% sure why.. Could it be because of the 08/08/08 at 08:08pm launch made me wonder that it would be another miracle before we could see another set-up like this? Or could it be because that I was so impressed by the opening ceremony that I don't feel that London 2012 would not be able to rise to the occasion and expectations? I really don't know..

Beijing National Stadium
(also known as 'The Bird's Nest')

Malaysia possibly hit an all-time low with only a silver medal.. Lee Chong Wei made us proud with his contribution in badminton.. He lost to Lin Dan, the current world numero uno.. Chong Wei is currently number 2.. Playing against the top seed, in the big fella's home soil - TOUGH! Fair play to Chong Wei.. To one extend, yes, we did manage a medal.. But my foremost disappointment was by the number of athletes that was sent.. I'm sorry, I don't have the exact number, but I'm pretty sure it was small.. By the official Beijing 2008 website, we sent only in badminton and sailing.. We used to send a good squad worthy of medals in gymnastics - where have they gone? Are we no longer worthy of even Olympics participation? As I said, it was not the number of medals we won (or did not win) but the size of contingent we were sending was the biggest disappointment..

National Aquatic Centre, Beijing
(also known as 'The Water Cube')

World records being broken was almost an absolute expectation.. Michael Phelps (USA) won 8 gold medals in the pool.. He reached his target well.. Yes, he won 6 golds and 2 bronzes in Athens 2004, which was where the 8 came from.. Word of mouth, he was tested for drugs more than any other athlete in Beijing - including blood tests! I hope that was just words.. And there was Usain Bolt, who broke the 100m record and won 3 golds in the track.. Yes, he took the spotlight in the Bird's Nest Stadium.. But I still have my mind on the disaster by the Americans - Tyson Gaye failed to qualify for the 100m finals, the double 4x100m relay baton mess-up by both the men and women.. Yes, I can go on and on about all the memories of ups and downs in this Olympics, but here was just a few to mention..

The world will be looking forward to London 2012 for the next village for the Olympics athletes.. I have my doubts about how will London step up to the standard that Beijing offered - especially in the opening ceremony.. But I still feel they are able to do it.. You're right, it's not just about the opening ceremony or the high-end venues.. It is about the organisations, the preparations, the hospitality, the coverage and the games and athletes.. And all in all, I welcome London 2012 for the next Olympics and I have high hopes and expectations that they can further raise the bar for this prestigious event.. And I hope Malaysia will do a lot better next time.. AND, God willing, insya-Allah, I'd like to go and watch some games in London then..


Study Leave for MRCP Part 1
*Sigh* This week is my study leave week before my exams nest week - September 02, and YES, my studies have been turtle-slow! Despite being that slow, see what I'm doing? BLOGGING! Am I bold or what? Some said to me to take this first sitting as a 'trial' as many would not pass in the first attempt anyway.. However, I appreciate and I am taking Along's (my previous registrar) advice on board big time - Do your best in this one like I won't take it again! Makes perfect sense.. Why should I rip myself off the ever-deteriorating cash and take this exam for granted.. I will do my best..

Isn't this interesting? I have so much to say about the Olympics and almost zero on my exams! I spoke to Gurmit (my classmate in medical school) yesterday, and she sounded stressed.. I think this is her second attempt.. So I was assured that there will be some familiar faces in the exam hall next week..

Well, I really need to pen-off now.. Lots of studying to do still, and I'm using this whole week to soak my brain with information of which most probably 85% it will not use at all in my career.. Hopefully this week will be good..

See ya later, aligators!

News of the News : A Wii, Rejuvenated XBox, Second-Hand iPhone..

Salam,

Gosh.. Another long spell of silence.. Interestingly, even Ina didn't post anything between my zipped lips..

Yes, many have happened between the last post and today.. Maybe it'll be nice to share a few for this post..

My Mii and Wii
A Mii is a mini-you of the Wii gaming community.. You can specifically create the character and use it to play the games in the Wii.. Indeed, the Wii generates the according size for your Mii based on your BMI - see your Mii plump to a pumpkin size if your BMI passes the 'overweight' line.. Of course, the Wii is a new member of this home.. After quite heavy consideration, we decided and agreed that we would buy the Wii.. We did get the Wii Fit as well - for home exercise..

I do believe that many of you are familiar of the Wii.. It is at present the only motion-sensor equipped gaming device in the world (that I know of, anyway).. What it means is that instead of controlling your game with a game-pad controller for movement, you simply move your controller and your movement is detected and translated as movement in your game.. Excellent! That means, you WILL sweat even playing the simplest game like the Wii Sport Tennis.. Home exercise - DOUBLE EXCELLENT!

At the moment, we don't have that many games for our Wii.. We only have the Wii Sport (that came with the console) and the Wii Fit.. Maybe later in the year we would purchase a few more games.. We'll see.. As for me, I'm aiming to lose some weight with the Wii Fit - by going to the gym and merely inputting the time I spend in the gym into my Wii Fit Activity Log.. Ina seems to be doing less at the moment - of course, her aim was to maintain the same weight after a 2-week course..

Rejuvenated XBox 360
Many were unaware that my Xbox had been off-line for quite some time.. However, I managed to get it repaired for FREE! Interestingly, because the problem was possibly with the console hard drive/main system, and it was still under the 3-year warranty, I could get it repaired for free or (if not repairable) replaced with a brand-new one!

So, I did send it to Germany for repairs.. Two weeks later, I received an email telling me my XBox was on it's way home.. Boy, am I relieved!

Now, my XBox is sitting happily beside his baby brother Wii! I have no new games for my XBox either, as I am studying (or trying to) for the coming MRCP exam.. So, I suppose I have to leave it be for the moment - I'll manage with the old games, anyway.. Maybe, just maybe, I'll persuade Ina to let me buy a few more second-hand games after my exams.. Hehe..

Second-Hand iPhone
I have always envied the people with iPhones.. And always wanted to have one.. Unfortunately for me, iPhones in Ireland are exclusively for O2 customers only - and even on that, only with bill pay.. It costs about 400 euros for the gadget and another 40 euros monthly for the bill pay (excluding the calls you make, the texts you send).. Now, I think that's a rip off! Even more unfortunate, this O2-iPhone business deal will go on until 2010!

Jodie (my registrar) has one and finds them very handy and nice.. Of course, that only heightened my wish to have one! And my wish came true.. Jennnifer (my medical secretary) had bought one iPhone after being persuaded by her friend.. But, only after two days, she found it 'not to her liking' and was looking to get rid of it.. She offered my a good price - 180 euros! She bought that for 200 euros.. Of course it was locked, but of course I know a few 'dodgy' places that may unlock this for me.. So I bought it off Jennifer..

I had to go down to Dublin and spend 60 euros to unlock this iPhone, after almost 10 attempts to unlock it myself with a downloaded software ended in vain.. But I think 60 euros was worth it.. Now I can use it with my Meteor simcard and even surf the web at home with it! It's more like a PDA-phone - in fact, I think it is! And I'm glad I have one!

Gadgets, Gadgets and More Gadgets!
I know Ina is looking for a PDA so I'll let her buy one.. Badly enough, I am not up-to-date with the latest news on PDAs, so I'll have to refrain from saying too much.. I have talked to several up-to-date people, but they all seem to volunteer and suggest the most up-to-date PDA, which would actually mean either not yet available in Ireland or they would be exquisitely expensive!

Hmm, I am wondering if Ina would mind if I suggest for us to get a Nintendo DS Lite (for Brain Training)? I won't push my luck for now - we just got a Wii.. Certainly, I am keeping that in mind..

A Tribute To A Son..

Salam..

Here I am back again after several silent moments.. Not that I was busy, but I had left the blogging to my wife, and she had quite few stories to share, so I took a small step back and no need for redundancy.. And I hope to keep this short..

Now, the title may seem a little emotional and melancholic, but I can assure you, this is nothing less than a true feeling and maybe just a small spot to share from our life's story..

It would be one of the days that I did not know what to do to help bear the pain..
And it is still true today, when I clearly remember it.. I could not think of anything to help ease the pain.. Yes, I was scared, but I had to be strong for her.. For us..

We had opted to get checked up nearby but to no avail.. And we had to walk.. I just could not believe myself letting her through that.. What selfish and irresponsible bloke I was.. And I had to make a call - we were going to the hospital, despite her not being fond of the idea..

We arrived, registered and waited.. Alhamdulillah, they had a designated team to handle this kind of situation.. She was taken straight up to the ward, prepped for a scan.. First scan - no heartbeat.. My heart dropped.. My heart stopped beating.. I sunk into a deep feeling of sadness, and a stint of guilt patched..

"We'll have to do another scan tomorrow.. If it's incomplete, we'll have to bring you to surgery.."

I almost fell on my knees.. They were shaking, trembling.. The ground was collapsing under me.. I had to try to hold my tears.. Maybe I failed, but I didn't think she saw..

Overnight was hard.. There was a lot of pain, physically and emotionally.. Of course, physical pain is relatively easy to wash.. Few jabs of pethidine and it would more than likely be managed.. But the pain inside? Some people say TIME will heal the pain, some people say FORGETTING is a 'good' way to block the pain.. I disagree.. I just cannot FORGET.. He was a part of me.. And TIME will only make me miss him more..

Second day - Another scan.. The 'good' news was it was completed.. No need for surgery.. I was relieved.. But far from settled.. She seemed calm.. But I knew how she felt inside - because I felt the same.. The cocktail of feelings, the jumble of emotions - there wasn't a description for it.. Chaotic? Unsettled.. That's what it was..

She was let home the on same second day.. With a few weeks off work..

Of course the news was a major blow to both our mothers.. I was bombarded with millions of questions.. And not to mention I had thrown some trillions to myself to start off with.. And I had none of the answers.. Until today, I have none..

"Mama dah beli kain batik lepas dari Indonesia nak buat buai.."
"Mak sedih tak dapat jaga kak chik dalam pantang.."

Those sentence still ring in my ears.. Painful as they were, still painful today..

A year now..
Much has happened since this day last year.. But 8th August 2007 marked the day we lost our first child.. He was merely 8 weeks old.. It was a complete miscarriage.. And today, I tribute this entry to these special ones..

My unborn son - I named him Muhammad - I will never forget you.. You will always be our first child.. I pray you have a wonderful seat beside Allah in Jannah.. Someday, ibu and ayah will see you again..

To my beloved wife - You have been so strong seeing this through.. I still have dreams about that day and about our baby.. I pray Allah will further give you strength and courage as He has been.. No husband could stand without a support as strong as you..

I would also like to thank the staff of the Early Pregnancy Unit in Letterkenny General Hospital for the fond care and support we had while my wife was there..

Lastly, this is for my son.. Till we meet again..
Al-Faatihah..

Food, Lough Gur & food again..

Salam..

HI everyone..
This weekend is a bank holiday weekend.. means that we have an extra day of holiday:) I was supposed to be oncall but fortunately i managed to swap my call with somebody else.. Although I've been waiting for this weekend but I am really out of idea where to go.. I've been all around Ireland for this past year and I guess i'm out of places of where to visit (although there may be hundreds more places that I don't know.. hehe).. So,in the end,we just stayed at home, doing our chores.. but hey,weekend isn't over yet.. I REALLY need to have a good plan to spend my extra holiday..
So we decided either to have picnic at a seaside or go for bowling or go for shopping.. The more,the merrier.. So I've invited my fellow colleagues to join us.. Wan, Fidz & Shiqin came over to my house for late breakfast & then we all went out for shopping at Childers Road & strolling at Lough Gur.. and on our way home,we went to Azur for dinner..



Lough Gur is about half an hour away from our house.. It's not a very big lake but still,the scenery is lovely.. I really like lakes & beaches.. Just sitting under the sun, enjoying the scenery & breathing the fresh air... just sooo relaxing...










For dinner,we went to Azur which is a seafood restaurant in the city centre.. It's actually quite expensive but the food is good & yummyyy..







Five types of fish in one plate..













Sea bass & aubergine for me..








And not to forget.. desert... Hot choc fondant and vanilla ice cream.. wow.. Just fabulously delicious!!


I'll write again soon about the interns nite out.. I'm going to bed early.. Going to Kilkee tomorrow.. yippieee!!