Tearful Farewell To Our Daughter..

Salam..

A long December and there's a reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last..

It had somewhat looked that way, or at least I thought it was..

Suffice to say, 2009 brought me hope and new agendas and resolution that many of us may find small.. Alas, despite all the small preparations and readiness, I had not gauged that my patience and emotions were to be tested so great again..

As you may have noticed and read from the previous entry from my wife, sadly we lost another baby last week.. And the hopes and dreams we had vanished with the little fellow, accompanied only by our tears and prayers..

I had hoped (and somehow fairly convinced) that it would be a girl.. Maybe from the difference I noticed during the early part of the pregnancy.. Worse of the nausea and to some extend vomiting, the decrease in appetite.. In fact, even emotionally, Ina was different compared to the last time.. And the last time, I thought it would be a boy - and I have always taken him as a son.. Maybe the difference this time made me convinced that it would be a daughter.. Or maybe my subconscious was just playing in my head telling me my son would have wanted a sister.. Either way, that was what I thought..

Subhanallah, Allah loves my daughter more so than I could ever love her, and He took her and placed her in Jannah, along with her brother.. As for me and Ina, yes, we are indeed distraught by the fact lightning did strike twice.. But at the same time, our prayers and thoughts will always be with our children, now beside Allah in Jannah..

No-one could ever explain the feelings we are going through at present time.. The thought of losing a child is more than anybody could handle, what else being the one we have always been waiting for.. The more we want something, the lost would just be more unbearable, but at the same time, the test from Allah is so magnificent that only unto Him we plead strength and patience..

17th January 2009 - The day our daughter left us to be with Allah and her brother in Jannah.. Ibu and Ayah will always remember you.. Will always have you and your brother in our hearts and prayers.. We know both of you will be waiting for us, that one day we will again be a family.. And insya-Allah, with brothers and sisters too for you both.. Until that day comes, do pray for Ibu and Ayah, so Allah will give us both the strength and courage to face the coming days..

I will miss you, always..
My prayers will always be with you..

Goodbye, my dear daughter..